Do you ever feel like you mean nothing in this world? Do you
ever feel like everybody ignoring you? Do you ever feel everything run so bad? And this life just
a place for a fake people and there’s no
happiness. They talk to you only when they need something? Feel like a loser,
don’t know how to make friend, and too nerd to join the cool kids squad?
Im stuck between these two opposite mood. I can’t do anything when im down. Poor. Idiot. Ugly. Un-Worth, Un-Valuable, and so much Un Un Un. But, when im up. A way so up. I can do whatever that i want. I will reach and get it until my last breath. I won’t giving up. Im the one who handle you all. Lead all of you. Get what i deserve to get.
I really want to live with my up mood forever. But, my hormon say no. Mood Circulation. I am not moody like some other people felt. I am not angry. I am not mad. Im not in PMS day. Im just in up and down or between. When im up, my confident also increase until the max. I do not feel the shyness. Afraidness. And their friends. All i feel is free. Like there's a bundle of butterflies in my heart. I can meet everyone and make a great memories with them. Loving each other so well. But its 180` different when im down. Put my hands up to answer the question from teacher is really horrifying. I didn’t like other people starring at me curiously. I hate those eyes. And i always said it to myself, “Why all of you just not busy with your own bussines like before? Don’t stare me like that.” It’s enough to imagine it by yourself how moody i am.
My mood swing so fast. I can not even predict my mood 5 minutes later. I can grumpy all the morning because of something in my heart feel so uneasy and i can laugh and smile like a crazy in the afternoon because all of the burden in my heart is gone.
Im afraid i lost my medicine. Im afraid i can not have the same medicine like i used to before. I hope this last medicine could help my mood-sick. I hope there's a new medicine that i could take. My old medicine, before, all of my heart is yours. But, can you stay in touch in my pocket? In case im suffering in my down day.
( NOTE : ditulis dalam keadaan baper about a month ago . Repost from my old blog, hehe )
Plopy,
Hey Nuu. XX.
Or Do you ever feel like there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Everybody just way same like the others. We are all humans. Have the right to
do anything. What i talk, i need you to listen at me. When i giving my opinion,
i don’t care what will they respond it. I don’t care. I say what i want and i
do what i want. Nothing scares me. Sarcasm maybe a good way to express it.
Im stuck between these two opposite mood. I can’t do anything when im down. Poor. Idiot. Ugly. Un-Worth, Un-Valuable, and so much Un Un Un. But, when im up. A way so up. I can do whatever that i want. I will reach and get it until my last breath. I won’t giving up. Im the one who handle you all. Lead all of you. Get what i deserve to get.
I really want to live with my up mood forever. But, my hormon say no. Mood Circulation. I am not moody like some other people felt. I am not angry. I am not mad. Im not in PMS day. Im just in up and down or between. When im up, my confident also increase until the max. I do not feel the shyness. Afraidness. And their friends. All i feel is free. Like there's a bundle of butterflies in my heart. I can meet everyone and make a great memories with them. Loving each other so well. But its 180` different when im down. Put my hands up to answer the question from teacher is really horrifying. I didn’t like other people starring at me curiously. I hate those eyes. And i always said it to myself, “Why all of you just not busy with your own bussines like before? Don’t stare me like that.” It’s enough to imagine it by yourself how moody i am.
My mood swing so fast. I can not even predict my mood 5 minutes later. I can grumpy all the morning because of something in my heart feel so uneasy and i can laugh and smile like a crazy in the afternoon because all of the burden in my heart is gone.
Once
ago, medicine for my mood-swing is only GHOST ( Great
Heroes of Science Two ), my 10th grader class. Only one
step to the class, all
my grumpy face slowly gone. You’ll laugh more and forever. There’s always
something make me so happy and enjoy. But right now, my medicine just
placed to
far away from my reach. And the quality of my medicine slowly feels not
good. Maybe some of my medicine expired? Taste so bitter. I haven’t
replaced my old medicine with the new
one. Because there’s still a few medicine that could help me to forget
awhile
all the problems, mood, and pain that i’ve been through for 5 days. Old
still
old. Something new always there, but some of them is taken already.
Im afraid i lost my medicine. Im afraid i can not have the same medicine like i used to before. I hope this last medicine could help my mood-sick. I hope there's a new medicine that i could take. My old medicine, before, all of my heart is yours. But, can you stay in touch in my pocket? In case im suffering in my down day.
( NOTE : ditulis dalam keadaan baper about a month ago . Repost from my old blog, hehe )
Plopy,
Hey Nuu. XX.